HEY HEY HEY HEYYYYYYYY MY FAVORITE QUEER DRUNK ASSHOLE POET TURNED 450 TODAY (and let me tell you, there is a lot of competition for the title “favorite queer drunk asshole poet”)
BUT as we all know, there is some controversy over who ACTUALLY wrote shakespeare’s plays!
so in order to mark this SERIOUS and LEGITIMATE issue, i have compiled the most likely theories in this comprehensive list:
- in julius caesar, cassius says, “this is my birthday; on this very day cassius was born.” on that same day, cassius DIES. guess who else was not only born on april 23, but died april 23?? that’s right, shakespeare. english playwright? or ancient roman ghost bent on revenge? YOU BE THE JUDGE.
- shakespeare married a woman called anne hathaway. BATMAN ALSO MARRIED ANNE HATHAWAY. have you ever seen shakespeare and batman in the same place at the same time??????
- lived in london? totally encountered prostitutes several times? probably spoke english? william shakespeare……. or JACK THE RIPPER
- uh, excuse me, an uneducated glovemaker’s son couldn’t possibly have written the 38 works of art attributed to shakespeare. please consider instead this picture of a cat pushing another cat in a shopping cart. you’re welcome.
- ””“”“”“”“”“president obama????”“”“”“”“” more like PRESIDENT WILLIAMSHAKESPOBAMA. wake UP, america
- ME I’M WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE I HAVE BEEN SHAKESPEARE ALL ALONG AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA YOU FOOLS YOU IGNORANT FOOLS
“I think it’s important just to keep your eye on what is important and that is the work — that is acting. It’s always nice to be recognised or liked for what you’ve done, but just keep working.”
"this fanfiction contains mature themes"
your favorite ship has to file taxes and it’s mad frustrating and creates relationship friction but they get it done and it’s a bonding experience they laugh about later. also eventually they will both die.
"Rust knew exactly who he was and there was no talking him out of it. You know Marty’s single big problem was that he never really knew himself. So he never really knew what to want."
It’s great here. It’s really great. Um, I don’t know… I went to this shrine today. And, um, there were these monks and they were chanting. And I didn’t feel anything, you know? And, um, I don’t know… I even tried ikebana, and John is using these hair products.
I just… I don’t know who I married.
"Your mother died to save you. If there is one thing Voldemort cannot understand, it is love. He didn’t realize that love as powerful as your mother’s for you leaves its own mark. Not a scar, no visible sign…to have been loved so deeply, even though the person who loved us is gone, will give us some protection forever. It is in your very skin.”
"The truth was, the princess was braver than her brother, and brighter and more confident as well. Her wits were quicker, her courtesies more polished. Nothing daunted her, not even Joffrey”
I can feed the caterpillar, I can whisper through the chrysalis, but what hatches follows its own nature and is beyond me.
when you say “bless you” to someone before they actually sneeze
- Founding of Rome
- Roman Republic, Republic 2
- Roman Senate
- Great Roman Civil War
- Transition between Republic and Empire
- Pax Romana
- The Empire
- 5 Good Emperors
- 10 Worst Emperors
- Division of Roman Empire
- Fall of the Roman Empire
- Aftermath in Western Europe
- Byzantine Empire
- Architecture, architecture 2
- Army, army 2
- Colosseum, Colosseum seating
- Education, education 2
- Food, food 2
- Lifestyle, lifestyle 2
- Religion, religion 2
- Roman roads
- Twelve Tables of Law
Around the Empire